I know I’m not the greatest at writing but I warned of that before. I apologize to everyone for the delays in updates. I will work on getting better at posting.
the last couple weeks in reality there hasn’t been much to post. My platelets dropped too low to start my next round of chemo but not low enough that I need a transfusion. Although that would normally sound good, it means I’ve been in a holding pattern waiting for the next step. I’ve been going for weekly labs hoping that numbers will come up. We’ve started some vitamin supplements which have helped all my other numbers rise, but unfortunately I just have to wait for my body to produce more platelets. Yesterday my dr decided to give me 10 days before my next appointment and check my labs again. If they are not up at that point, we will have to schedule another bone marrow biopsy to make sure the cancer cells aren’t reproducing again.
i would be lying if I didn’t say all this scares the crap out of me. I try my best to keep my brave face on and stay strong like I know everyone wants me to be. The reality is though, on nights like tonight when everyone is asleep and I’m laying here awake all I can think about is how scared I am. I’m scared mostly of disappointing my husband with my fight. He has been such a rock for me that I know I couldn’t do this without him, all I want is to give him the same effort he gives me everyday.
aside from all that nonsense life has just been chaotic. We’ve had a lot of random expenses come up but every time we feel defeated something comes out of left field to help us out. I have to believe if we weren’t meant to be the victors of this battle that we wouldn’t have these blessings popping up.
i will continue to try and be better at updating this. For now, all of your continued prayers, well wishes, thoughts or whatever works for you is more than appreciated